Shit Joke
Posted: 08 April 2008 08:28 AM   [ Ignore ]  
Bukkake Champion
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  673
Joined  2005-09-05

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Chinese man, clutching a clip board and yelling, “You sign! You sign!” Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts. Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Chinese man starts to yell louder. “You sign! You sign!” Nelson says to him, “Look, you’ve obviously got the wrong man”, and shuts the door in his face.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening the door, there is the same little Chinese man thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting, “You sign! You sign!” Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him “Look, I don’t want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name! Who do you want to give these to?”

The little Chinese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard, and says

“You not Nissan Main Dealer?”

 Signature 

53.jpg

all my collections are here click me , the password is Gentleman

Profile
 
 
Posted: 08 April 2008 08:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]  
Bukkake Champion
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  952
Joined  2007-02-19

Ok i laughed a little, ill admit it

 Signature 

Thanks SeaDog!!

Maybe the night seems so dark, because the day, was much to bright.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 08 April 2008 10:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]  
Dr Doolittle The Animal Lover
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  7038
Joined  2007-09-30

oh dear… smirk

 Signature 

Totally up yours wink TC shop

Profile
 
 
Posted: 08 April 2008 02:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]  
Bukkake Champion
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  410
Joined  2007-04-27

Yup, laughed a little. It’s sad but it’s true.

 Signature 

tw1tch0rz.png

Profile
 
 
Posted: 08 April 2008 03:52 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]  
Gay Gang Banger
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  3849
Joined  2007-03-12

It grows on you LOL

 Signature 

12 days to go

For I am Alpha and Omega, the first and last. And lo it will be my birthday

Profile
 
 
Posted: 08 April 2008 04:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]  
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  10062
Joined  2006-10-12

Yep…

I must confess i had a small laugh as well…

Very droll…

cheese

DB

 Signature 

NEW MEMBERS

Read this FAQ http://www.totallycrap.com/forums/viewthread/9987/ before posting.

“He died in the year 1563...With a spike thrust between his buttocks, until the blood did run from his mouth”

Profile
 
 
Posted: 11 April 2008 08:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]  
Dr Doolittle The Animal Lover
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  5325
Joined  2007-01-08

this is a test

 Signature 

courtesy of Sea Dog

Profile
 
 
Posted: 11 April 2008 08:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]  
Dr Doolittle The Animal Lover
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  7038
Joined  2007-09-30
b6nd1t - 11 April 2008 08:32 PM

this is a test

he’s alive !!!

 Signature 

Totally up yours wink TC shop

Profile
 
 
Posted: 11 April 2008 08:49 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]  
DP Junkie
RankRankRank
Total Posts:  106
Joined  2007-08-06

That f*&@ing sucked.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 12 April 2008 04:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]  
Bukkake Champion
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  673
Joined  2005-09-05

Little Johnny and Susie are only 10 years old, but they know that they are in love. One day they decide they want to get married, so Little Johnny goes to Susie’s father to ask him for her hand. Little Johnny bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I’m asking for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Little Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Little Johnny replies. “In Susie’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge
grin,
“Okay then how will you live? You’re not old enough to get a job. You’ll need to support Susie.”

Again, Little Johnny instantly replies, “Our allowance. Susie makes 5
bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That’s about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine.”
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Little Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Little Johnny won’t have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, “Well Little Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out, I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?”

Little Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says “That’s okay, I’ll
just keep shagging her up the arse for now...”

 Signature 

53.jpg

all my collections are here click me , the password is Gentleman

Profile
 
 
Posted: 12 April 2008 04:58 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]  
Bukkake Champion
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  673
Joined  2005-09-05

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did!?!”

The guy says, “No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!”, says the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.” He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he’s in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a cocktail cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it in his bum, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey did now!? “, he asks.

“Now what?”, responds the patron.

“Well, he stuck a cocktail cherry up his bum, then pulled it out and ate it!”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the patron. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!”

 Signature 

53.jpg

all my collections are here click me , the password is Gentleman

Profile
 
 
Posted: 12 April 2008 04:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]  
Dr Doolittle The Animal Lover
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  7038
Joined  2007-09-30

moderatly better than the shannon matthews joke shut eye

 Signature 

Totally up yours wink TC shop

Profile
 
 
   
 
 
Our Sponsors