i just thought of a joke… What’s the shortest word in a dictionary......................................................................................................................................
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......................................................................................................................................................................................................................short.haha
You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon’.
Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation,
first: If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework ... you’re a pansy. If you work too hard ... there’s never any time for her. If you don’t work enough ... you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet ... its male indifference. If you cry ... you’re a wimp. If you don’t ... you’re an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without consulting her ... you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman . If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy ... that’s domination. If SHE asks you ... it’s a favor. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you’re a pervert. If you don’t ... you’re gay. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you’re sexist. If you don’t ... you’re unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you’re vain. If you don’t ... you’re a slob. If you buy her flowers ... you’re after something. If you don’t ... you’re not thoughtful. If you’re proud of your achievements ... you’re full of yourself.. If you don’t ... you’re not ambitious. If she has a headache ... she’s tired. If you have a headache .... you don’t love her anymore. If you want it too often ... you’re oversexed. If you don’t ... there must be someone else. Why do men die first? Because they want to
I’m going to bitch about the fact that it’s only 2.12am and there is nobody on this forum posting. You fuck tards shouldn’t go to bed so soon, when I get bored I start getting weird, and that isn’t a good thing. I could just talk crap for hours in the mood I’m in now. God I’m bored. I hope you cocks are satisfied with the mental breakdown of a perfectly sane person. Good news everyone Red dwarf is on Dave.
Okay i’m in a predicament, I really need a piss but I can’t be arsed getting up, what do I do?
A) Go to sleep, and wake up 30 minutes later because I can’t hold on any more.
B) Piss the bed
C) Open my window and piss out of it
D) Piss in a pint glass and keep it on the window bottom
E) Non of the above/something else
Okay i’m in a predicament, I really need a piss but I can’t be arsed getting up, what do I do?
A) Go to sleep, and wake up 30 minutes later because I can’t hold on any more.
B) Piss the bed
C) Open my window and piss out of it
D) Piss in a pint glass and keep it on the window bottom
E) Non of the above/something else
I say do D, chill it and give it to a ‘buddy’ as a flat beer.
I’m afraid you replied to late, I really did contemplate pissing out the window, but I summoned every bit of energy in me and went to the toilet. Boring I know, but it was the safer option.
