“I’ve been having some problems with my PC of late. It is currently infested with the kinds of viruses that would cause David Caruso in CSI Miami to remove his sunglasses and call for serious help from the lab. However they pale into insignificance when I consider the damage your desperate pleas for redemption for your existence are doing to the delicate innards of my highly prized machine. Indeed, I worry what the effects of my own sturdier innards are suffering when introduced to evidence of your existence. The effect is somewhere between witnessing a tramp, down a sewer, sucking diarrhoea through a sweaty sock and accidently catching a gypsy wanking into a bag of cheese and onion crisps. It can safely be said that the term ‘internet viral’ was invented for the kind of dreadful, self absorbed, woeful bilge that you inflict on an unsuspecting planet, although you have taken it to a level that geologists in the 25th Century may have the technology to recover. I hope this provides you with some sort of closure for these sorry little outbursts. Preferably involving a speeding bus, ironic as you look like the back of one.”
