Please add to the list if you have more
here’s some I wrote earlier
Why can’t you get a cup of tea at the Bridge? All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Old Trafford.
Missing: 1 x Bottle
Last Seen: 21st May, Moscow
If found please return to: John Terry, Stamford Bridge, London
Heard about the John Terry tyre? Excellent durability but not so good in the wet.
John Terry always listens to the same song before a game - Born Slippy.
What is top of the man utd pop charts? Footloose.
Did you hear about the new ‘Chelsea Bra’? Lots of support but no cups.
My favourite:
Frank Lampard and Joe Cole were allegedly spotted out in Red Square last night, having clearly had one or two drinks. They were reportedly singing: “We’re forever blowing Doubles.”
My 2nd favourite
After Ryan Giggs lifted the Champions League cup for a second time he had a peek inside and there was a Chocolate Orange in it. He said - “It’s not Terry’s, it’s mine!”
Samaritans are offering counselling to all Chelsea fans. Call 0800 101010 – that’s 08000 won nothing won nothing won nothing.
And If that line gets too busy there is another number to call: 0800 6-5 6-5 6-5.
Spaceworm
