Tonight’s game is called Rick Triqui—great name right? Not really. The object of the game is to destroy the orange ball with your big fat bazooka in order to complete the level. Of course, obstacles and other jackassery tries to stop you from doing so. You can also move Rick with the arrow keys if necessary.

In honour of Starface pop princess Rihanna wore stars on her boobs during a 4th of July party. If she had another 54 on her ass is unknown.

The weather. It’s the one thing boring people know how to talk about. Yet it still gets about 5 minutes at the end of every news bulletin. I especially love how they tell you what kind of weather it was round your way a couple of hours ago. I was apparently raining. No shit Sherlock, that must be why am fucking soaked. It’s a bit like telling you which lottery numbers you should have picked a couple of hours after the balls dropped. And then there’s the weather people. Acting all high and mighty. Don’t they know we just want pretty young things to look at. It makes a upcoming rainy day all that more easy to swallow. This blonde had a go at presenting the weather, but failed. We’d still give her a job here on Totally Crap to present our weather. And we don’t care if she just says hot, hot, hot.

It’s not in good taste to make fun of Michael Jackson at the moment and seeing as jade GOody is dead already that just leaves the Asians to take the piss out off. Turn up your speakers and enjoy Ching Chang Chong to the beats of Boom Boom Pow.

Today’s first game is from out friends over at Meltgames.com. It is called Neon Maze, and it is, in fact, a maze, but it also has some brain crunching aspects to it. You have to be the correct color in order to penetrate certain walls. To change color, you have to find a color changing dot. Of course, as the levels go on, they have arranged the changers and walls in a brain-teasing fashion. The game is pretty decent.

This coming Tuesday things are set to explode in downtown LA. The memorial service for Michael Jackson will be held in the Staple Center and eventhough only 17.500 tickets are available it is expected that hundreds of thousands of fans will turn up. The memorial will focus on the good Michael jackson. His music, his work for charity and his drive to be the best entertainer the world has ever seen. That’s all great of course, but talking about the good Michael Jackson stopped selling newspapers about 6 days ago. The time has come to dig up the dirt again. The custody battle, the drug addictions, the financial debts and the child molestation charges. This past weekend the British rag News of the World published and outtake of a video the police recorded in 1996 during the trial of Michael Jackson vs Jordan Chandler. Guilty or not guilty? It is fucked up that this tape is released now and not 13 years ago when it really mattered.

In some countries going to a stadium to see some bulls get pestered until death is still considered a family day out. But karma can be a bitch. Humans pwning bulls might be considered culture, but bulls pwning humans is just fucking funny.

If you’re bored on your plane ride over to a Swine Flu riddled cheap ass holiday destination you might want to try this trick with some toiletpaper and flushing it. Fun as fuck really, but it would be so much funnier if you’d tie soe person shoes to the end of it.

This is a perfect game for a Holiday Weekend Sunday. At least it is a Holiday here in the USA. It is our Independence day. Ah yes, two hundred and frmfthy something years ago, our forefathers got together to form the rules for a brand new country where adult, white, males could live out their lives in total freedom, without any harassment from the British crown. The game is called Rabbit Wants Cake because you have to record arrow key movements to make the rabbit icon get to the cake icon when you hit the play button. Happy 4th!

She’s the pop sensation of the hour and to grab attention she dresses in wacky clothes. Lady GaGa is currently touring round the European Summer festivals trying to get people to like her other tracks besides Pokerface, but if you’ve heard any of the other tracks you’ll know this is no easy task. Time to get the tits out for V Magazine.

This chick wears a clowns mask while attempting to imitate Beyonce’s Single Ladies dance routine. She then goes and headbutts the TV. The evidence is clear, she’ll be staying single for a while yet. Although she does bang some great head.

Maria Lapiedra is a Spanish pornstar who got dropped in the Spanish version of Big Brother, Gran Hermano, to spice things up aka get the viewing numbers up. One of the other housemates had obviously not discovered internet porn yet and wanted to see what all the porn fuss was about. The result was that Maria Lapiedra lost her dress and showed her fake titties on national TV.

All our American friends are celebrating their 4th of July. Having a few beers, a flame hot BBQ and a family fight. I don’t know if Kim kardashian is having some beers and a family fight, but she sure as hell is having a BBQ. Just look at those buns. Yum.

Our game on this lowly Satuday is called Text Mate. This game is for those of us who like a little brain-practice now and then, this time using words. You have to pick the last few letters of the word and fill in the blanks to make the best word you can. Each letter you fill in will tell you have many words you can make with the empty spaces left. It should be fairly straightforward.

Do you really need any more information than the bloody title of this blog post to click the fucking link? Thought so. Have a good weekend and a happy 4th of July. Hope you get laid, high and drunk.

Around this time last week the King of Pop popped his clogs and went to hell/heaven. Millions of fans mourned the loss and thousands dumped homemade tribute videos on the world wide webster. This is a video of how not to make one as it might get you in trouble with his adoring fans. We loved it by the way.

Kendra Wilkinson used to bang Hugh Hefner on Viagra. She left him for someone slightly younger and married the dude last week. Before she left the single life (until het impending divorce) she did one final shoot to show of those puppies we’ve come to know and love.

Tonight’s game is called Xtreme Space Ball, and it is a simple get the ball to the finish game. The thing is, some of the squares reverse the arrow key directions and various things like that. It should keep you on your toes on this fun Friday night. That, or go out with your girl if you are normal.

Ahhh look, it’s little Dan playing with Thomas on the swings..OMFG…is that Miss Defanti sucking on a cock? Yes, 5th grade elementary teacher, Crystal Defanti, accidentaly included part of her sexual adventures on a DVD sent out to parents and students to commemorate the finished schoolyear at Isabelle Jackson Elementary School. If you’ve got the DVD, please send it to us.

Here’s another prime example of what happens when a fuckwit runs a red light. The guy in the first car getting hit is very very lucky to get out alive.

Today’s first game is brought to us today by our friends over at Meltgames. Drag Race Demon is a drag racing game, obviously, but this time you have to use the mouse to make the car go. You cant make it go too fast or too slow, though, or else the race will end or the car will flip. Fun times.

  It shouldn’t be a crime to for victim’s family members to beat the shit out of a murderer, it should be part of the sentence.  I’m not saying they have to skin the guy alive, though for child murderers we could look into that, but it may help a little with the healing process….even if it didn’t, fuck em.

  Man that reporter did we all feel like doing when these douche bags try to get into the shot.  Too bad he’ll probably end up on Public access after the law suit. 

  While Michael Jackson will be missed the great music he made, he was also known for his amazing dance moves.  While he truly was a gifted dancer, we have to remember he wasn’t the first amazing dancer and he was most likely inspired by some of the people in this video like Fred Astaire and Sammy Davis.