- Bar Rafaeli galore
- Jennifer Aniston still does bikinis
- Lily Allen does see through shirts
- Hot ass booty shaking
- Sexy bike wash ladies
- Facebook Reality
- Gwyneth Paltrow Does GQ UK
- Gary Coleman On Divorce Court
We haven’t stood still and bring you new quality goods from the world of Crap next week. Stay tuned and find out what we are talking about.
- Aria Giovanni does Bizarre Magazine
- Karina Flores does sensual
- Mila Kunis does Complex
- Marzia Prince does oiled up
- Sweet Victoria does her thing
- Things You Say Before Getting Kicked Off An Airplane
No it was not your crappy PC or Mac that did not want to display our sites. It was us. Our technical party moved the sites to new servers last night and added some top quality fell-off-the-back-of-a-truck stuff this morning and that marriage caused the blackout. All seems to be going well though and now all we need to do is get through the tweaking round to be back bigger and better. And in case you are wondering, yes, that is us in that picture.
Our second game today is a bit like the old arcade title Tempest, which happens to be one of my favorites, actually, but it only takes a small cue from it. The game is called NanoTube, and you must use the arrow keys to move a block of color around a central pivot point in order to grab all the objects that are emanating from the center. OF course, it starts out slow, but it gets harder and harder, like most of the games I bring you. Check this one out, it will be sure to finish up the last couple of hours on a slow Friday.
I also just want to mention a website that was brought to my attention recently that will certainly help to pass the time no matter what day it is. For those of you who enjoy arguing online, and I know I do, there is now a website available that actually promotes forum discussion in a lively, spirited, and some say even flame warring manner! Believe it or not, it is called FlamingWars, and it is a ton of fun for debating or arguing just about any topic you like! Just an FYI, folks, the more stuff to help pass those slow hours at work or school, the better, I say, and this website seems to grab you by the balls if you are a forum goer! Enjoy and happy weekend!
Right then crappers, as were a generous lot, here on Totallycrap, it’s time again for another competition. But of course you probably gathered that from the title. Still, our friends at Ninja Tune have given us five copies of their brand new three disk compilation to give away, You Don’t Know. It’s chock full of top tunes from Ninja, Big Dada and Counter Records, covering an eclectic spread of hip-hop, electro, DnB, dancehall, folk, jazz, indie, funk and anything else they can squeeze in there. To win a copy of your own, email us with three reasons why you think you deserve one. And to get you in the mood, have some breakneck UK hip-hop with Roots Manuva. Head nodding, dancehall bass from The Bug. And finish it off with a fantastic live performance from The Cinematic Orchestra. Answers in by the weekend please, winners will be notified by email.
With a one day delay it is here anyway. The Totally Crap Caption Cafe number 19. The idea is simple, check the pic and come up with a funny caption. I really can’t explain it any better, but that might be my problem.
Last week’s caption cafe was won by Nudedude with Dave had the good sense to use his camera phone before reaching for the fire extinguisher.
This week you can once again win a TC T-shirt, so click here for the bigger picture and to caption it. There is now no need to log in to place a comment, but do remember if you want to win I will need your email address, so become a memeber so I do not have to ask for it in public. And if you did win, check your fucking spam inbox for that mail from me telling you you’ve actually won something in your miserable life.
Downhill Joe is the name of the game on this Holiday Evening. The object is fairly simple, just guide the snowboarder down the mountain and guide him over and around any objects that come along. The game gets harder as you progress down the mountain, but not enough to make you want to stop playing, Check it out!
- This will result in loads of crap on your head
- One very LARGE music collection for sale
- Professor Gizmo And His One Man Band
- Top 10 sports injuries
- Lindsay Lohan nude withdrawal
- Exotic bird dancing
People got shot this week and my bloggers went AWOL. If you’ve seen them, please let me know. Oh Hagan73 won our Valentine’s Day competition. She’s won herself a hoodie. If you wanted one you should have entered. Now all you can win is a bloody TC shirt by posting your funny caption to the picture above.
Last week’s winner is Mikey Lew with Ha Ha we would have looked like right twats with those clown shoes on.
Uncle Steve has been slaving away at making TC easier to find and easier to access. Our Google ranking should improve and hopefully we can get Digg to take us of their spamlist (yeah, I know, fucked up) so you can all Digg our crap. Also new are our RSS feeds. We now have one for the frontpage, the video archive, the gallery archive and the audio archive. You’ll never have to miss another bit of crap for the rest of your life. And don’t forget to spam your friends with our links, vids and pics by using that friendly Tell A Friend option underneath every post.
Don’t forget our Valentine’s Day competition. You can win your special lady a very special, exclusive, talk of the town TC ladies hoody. Not for sale and normally only obtainable through a bit of sucking (up).
I’m in a hurry so no long-winded crap about new bloggers, cool videos and new commitments with regards to new serving hardware to make this daddy faster then ever. Last week’s caption cafe was won by NaughtyTeddy with her (yes, its a bird people, treasure her) a misplaced comma led Israels troops to inspect the Gaza, strip......
If you want to win a cool, exclusive (until the bloody shop opens) TC shirt, start captioning your funny crap to this week’s chosen picture.
- 2 Girls 1 Cup: The Show
- Paul Hunt Does Gymnastics
- The Best Of Kimmel’s Unnecessary Censorship
- Hot or Not: Martina Stella
It has been a busy week. We introduced you to two new bloggers, Telemachus and Krazy4speed, and after their first week of sniffing around crap I hope they’ll really start delivering the goods to move TC along. Hopefully I’ll be introducing a third new blogger in the coming week, so bookmark TC or get that feed going as we’ll be moving it up a gear.
Last week’s caption competition was won by luetchyboy with his caption Don Vito was disappointed when no children showed up to his beauty competition.
If you want to win a TC shirt, all you have to do is come up with the best, funniest or weirdest caption and you might. PS stop fucking posting 10 captions in one reply, pick your best and stick to it.
This is the week that brought you our Bloggers Battle. I appreciate you all taking an interest in it as it does decide which fuckwit will be posting his or her crap on the TC frontpage. Last week’s winner is CueMaster71 with Oprah’s new gynecologist accidentally slipped and hit the wrong hole.... You sir, win a TC shirt.
I am not giving away a TC shirt this week, but a Totally Crap calendar. There are only 200 of the fuckers, they can’t be bought and if you win one you should treasure it. Start captioning and don’t forget to read Round 3 and vote for your favorite.
When I was in South Africa someone told me that all the South African black man needs and wants are cigarettes, a cell phone and beer and if he could tick of those three boxes he gave himself a pat on the back for being a good man. These people stealing/taking beer from a crashed truck are not South African, but it seems the need for beer is high on their list of priorities too.
Our wannabe TC bloggers have finished the first round and it is now up to you to vote for the one you think has the biggest potential to make you laugh, cry or angry on the frontpage of TC. Read their crap here and vote for your favorite here. TC Needs You!!!
Welcome to Blogger’s Battle. The idea is very simple. We need a couple of new and fresh bloggers to help TC keep up to speed with the internet world. In the past I decided who would join and who would not. I’ll be honest, I’ve not always made the correct choices. We’ve had people apply that have seemed good for the job, but they let us down by pissing off after only 2-3 weeks or being very very unreliable. This time I am leaving the choice of new bloggers in your hands. The TC public. It is up to the candidates that applied to our call for help to impress you (and me) so you will vote for them. We are starting out with all candidates and every voting round the two with the least amount of votes will drop off. As in all good democracies I have a final vote if I want to give someone another chance. To find out more read this and don’t forget to read the wannabe bloggers’ efforts. And vote.
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