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25-08-08I’m A Fat Fuckfunny

We keep reading stories about food prices going up, world hunger and food shortages, but we keep getting fatter and fatter. I even see African kids walking round with bif filled-up bellies. Before you know it we’l all be calling ourselves Fat Fuck and that would leave gay fashion designers no one to sell their size 0 crap to.

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (1)

25-08-08FCK Fox Newsfunny

Fox News ain’t the most loved TV news channel out there. They often only tell one side of the story (their side) and often don’t even let people with a different opinion get a word in. Fox News is also very good at portraying anything slightly democratic and liberal as anti-American or unpatriotic. It doesn’t make you many friends in those political circles and at times when you need them to brighten up your Live TV coverage with some opinions (you normally never let them voice) they can bite you in the ass with a well-aimed chant. And the more times you say That’s not necessary the more it is. Fox News, Ruining A Nation. Tx 2 Wilanowiak

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (17)

25-08-08Jump Ballgames

Our first game today is a version of control the bouncing ball. It is called Jump Ball, and the object of the game is to use the arrow keys to move the bouncing ball so that it does not fall off the platforms. As the levels progress, you must overcome more and more obstacles. Good luck, and enjoy this last official week of Summer (those in my Hemisphere, that is).

 | DM | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

25-08-08Let’s Watch Some Guitar Herobabes

And by Guitar Hero I mean the boobs on the babe playing Guitar Hero. Eddie Van Halen en Joe Satriani never looked like that.

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

25-08-08Carmen Gives Some Office Adviceimpact

Doing 9 to 5 office work can be pretty boring and in a normal office environment you can’t count on your fellow workers to spce things up. The moment they do they get their asses sued for sexual harassment. But, something needs to be done or we’ll all end up a-sexual and grey. Welcome Miss MoneyFunbags Carmen. She’ll up that office temperature with a few degrees with her sound advice. See you in court.

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

25-08-08Bye Bye Beijingimpact

The Olympics are finally over. After a 6 hour closing ceremony full of stars we’ve never heard of (apart from Jimmy Page) and one London fuckwit Mayor representing the UK China can go back to arresting protestors opposing the regime, killing Tibetan monks and cloning every last bit of kit the Western media and sports stars have left behind. The 2008 Olympics were great to watch with some great performances and great venues, but it was very hard to tell this was China as we never got to see anything of it. Never mind, in 4 years time the UK will dish up an Olympics in London and they’ll have to live up to a lot. Such as the Olympic Birdnest stadium and the amazing Watercube. Somehow Upton Park and the Hackney Council Swimming Pool won’t cut it.

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (6)

25-08-08Psst, Need A Bike?impact

Some would call Igor Krenk a criminal, while I would call him an entrepreneur. With petrol prices going through the roof more and more people will be trading in their cars for other means of transport. Often a bike. Igor had a second hand bike shop in Toronto, Canada and saw this trend coming. Knowing he could never meet demand on his own he played the good Samaritan and “employed” homeless people to help him “acquire” more second hand bicycles. The problems for Igor started when his supply was far outstripping his demand. And then the Toronto Police came calling.

 | Willy Wanka | 25-08-08 | link |  | Comments (3)

24-08-08Local Weather Man has a Fanfunny

When you have a job as a local Weather Man you can say that you have ruined prerry much everything else in your life. But no worries, even the Local Weather Man has his own fan.

 | Steve Stiffbone | 24-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

24-08-08Angel Valodia Matos banned for Lifesports

Cuba’s Angel Valodia Matos can find himself a new hobby, because he lashed out at a referee and a judge after being disqualified from his bronze medal bout with Kazakhstan’s Arman Chilmanov in the Olympic taekwondo men’s +80-kg tournament.

 | Steve Stiffbone | 24-08-08 | link |  | Comments (5)

24-08-08The Ultimate Car Alarmfunny

 | Steve Stiffbone | 24-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

22-08-08Say Goodbye To Your Ballsimpact

Words can’t begin to describe what this man must have felt. Hell, I bet any man out there watching this does not feel a little bit of his pain. Mentally of course

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

22-08-08Using Beer To Catch A Baseballimpact

Some alcies might not approve, but if all outfield player at a baseball game had to catch a baseball like this instead of using a glove it would improve the game immensely. Especially round the 6th inning mark. Bottom’s Up. As Joe Gaylord Dimaggio would have said.

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

22-08-08Crap Links 22-08-2008impact

22-08-08Pumpkin Solitaire (Snoodkins)games

Our game tonight is a bit more brain-intensive, as I promised. They call the game Pumpkin Solitaire, but I prefer the name I made up—Snoodkins! I mean that’s what it is, basically—Snood with pumpkins. You will see what I mean when you are lining up three of the same colored pumpkins in order to make them disappear. I doubt you will think, “Oh this reminds me of a card game that has to do with numbers.” More than likely you will think “This is certainly a nice change from boring old Snood!” Anyhoo, enjoy the weekend, babies!

 | DM | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

22-08-08Hot or Not: Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzingerbabes

The question is a simple one. Would you tap Nicole Scherzinger’s ass? If you’re answer is yes I’ll tell you now that you’ll be getting sloppy seconds as Lewis Hamilton is tapping it at the moment.

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (2)

22-08-08Your First College Showerfunny

Another education year is round the corner, but will you actually learn something that will make use you get a well-paid job when you’re done studying in 7 years time? I hope so. If you don’t at least make sure you pick up some of life’s other pearls of wisdom like avoid STDs by not sleeping with the campus whore unprotected, never start in the high alcohol % range and work your way down, work your way up, when cheating on a test make sure you sit next to the class Einstein and not the class dumbass and when taking a shower prepare for all situations and I mean all situations.

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (2)

22-08-08Sexy Peoplefunny

I know what you need on a Friday. You need something to get you set up for the weekend. You need something to get the blood running. You need something to get your heart pumping faster. You need something that makes the hours fly by. You need drugs. Or loads of sexy people.

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (4)

22-08-08Old Man versus An Escalatorfunny

it ain’t easy for old people in this day and age of iPhones, Wii’s and cars. They have to take in so much new crap in a single day that their brains short circuit and go into overdrive mode. It is highly understandable that this can cause accidents or hilarious situations. Take old man Jack and his briefcase here. He wants to go up the escalator and he does, but not in the way God intended.

 | Willy Wanka | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

22-08-08Boom Boom Botgames

Today, we start with Boombot, the slightly less brain-intensive game of our two for today. The point of the game is to use your limited supply of bombs on each level to explode your little blinking robot towards and through the exit. You hold down the mouse button to enlarge the explosion, to a certain point, anyway. It will shrink back down if you wait too long. You should be able to pick up this game pretty fast, so enjoy, mah peeps!

 | DM | 22-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

21-08-08I Fisted A Girlfunny

Kathy Perry’s parents might not approve of her smash hit single I Kissed A Girl, the rest of the world loves it and she is raking in the money. Time for some parody in I Fisted A Girl. You know you’re lady friend will love it.

 | Willy Wanka | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (6)

21-08-08Stick Defensegames

Our title tonight is another non-puzzle game, I am sure much to your delight. This one is called Stick Defense, and you must defend your fortress from the invading stickmen. To do so, you simply use the mouse to put the crosshairs where you think the stickman will be by the time the bullet hits. Yes, a bit like Missile Command, but more blood. Enjoy!

 | DM | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (2)

21-08-08I Google Myselffunny

Facebook, MySpace, AdultFriendFinder. They all promise so much, but deliver so little. There are no horny chicks knocking on your door so all you can do is Google yourself. And visit Totally NSFW.

 | Willy Wanka | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

21-08-08Can You Say FAIL?impact

First we have a dumbass that tries to get on a roof and then we have a dumbass that jumps off a roof. Guess what, both now know the meaning of FAIL.

 | Willy Wanka | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

21-08-08Bringing home dadfunny

I know that being a drunk or an alcoholic can be a really bitch. Some how some way you need to drink like there is no tomorrow. You don’t think about the consequents. You just want to get drunk. It is a good thing than that you have kids likes these that take care of you.

 | Nigel Nuttcrusher | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (2)

21-08-08Fart girlwtf

If you were a girl and you had a banging body like this chick has, would you even consider making movies like this one? I mean she can be in a regular porn flick without a doubt. She already has the Vida Guerra thing going for her. This stinks.

 | Nigel Nuttcrusher | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

21-08-08Mad Mondaygames

Sorry for being MIA for a day or so, my faithful readers. I broke three of my ribs and my shoulder is completely destroyed to the point it needs to be replaced. It was quite a fall I took, trust me. Anyhoo, our first game today is called MaD Monday,and the game is basically Spy Hunter sideways. You use the arrows keys and spacebar to blow away any vehicles in front of you. Why? Cause you hate Mondays.

 | DM | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (1)

21-08-08Murder or Suicide?impact

When a deer meets a car the ending is never pretty or romantic. In 99% of the cases the deer dies and the car get a big dent in it. So too in this case. What I want to know is whether the deer waited for a pair of headlights to come along before it crossed the road thereby committing suicide or did the police car drive without due care and attention thereby committing murder?

 | Willy Wanka | 21-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

20-08-08He Kexin: Is She 16 or 14-Years-Old?news

Here’s the story. Chinese gymnast He Kexin won two gold medals at the 2008 Olympics. The question is whether she was allowed to win them or not. You need to be 16 to compete in the Olympic gymnastics tournament and eventhough the naked eye would never give He Kexin 16 years, those cunning Chinese produced official documents saying she was born in 1992, making her 16. But the story does not end there. You can check all the controversy here, but really all you need to do is check this larger photo of He Kexin and you’ll be able to say quite clearly this girl is no where near 16.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (30)

20-08-08SWAT Team In Need Of Practisefunny

When you join a SWAT team you know you’ll need to be on your guard 24/7. A moments slip in concentration can have serious consequences for you or your SWAT buddies. These South American SWATter know how to improvise. When they can’t get a gate open they use the truck they came with. Someone just didn’t tell dumbass.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

20-08-08Britney Spears And Her Angelic Singing Voiceimpact

After a rough year Britney Spears is finally getting back to her old self. When she’s fully recovered she’ll still have that million dollar earning potential and it is rumoured she will be making an apperance at the MTV VMA’s. She’ll probably also make a new hit record that needs to be promoted by a big world tour. And this is where the dream collapses. Just like Madonna it seems as if Britney can’t really sing and a whole host of modern day technological wonders have to be added to make it sound half decent. Basically you’ve paid $100 for a two hour dressing up and lip synch party. I know travs that do that for $50.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (1)

20-08-08Crap Links 20-08-2008impact

20-08-08MMA arm snapfights

If you don’t have a hobby yet try to get into MMA. MMA stands for Mixed Martials Arts which translates into an all out fighting extravaganza where there a almost no rules. The only thing you need are some shorts, a pair of gloves and some muscles. Oh it would help if your joints are in premium condition.

 | Nigel Nuttcrusher | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

20-08-08Unboxing The New Samsung i900 Omniaimpact

Sony, Nokie, LG, Motorola, HTC and Samsung have got their work cut out ever since Apple took to the cell phone stage. Sure, the Apple product is in many ways inferior to what is already on the market and Steve Jobs is even more paranoid about controlling his brand and making money than the M$ people, but the Apple marketing peeps did a great job in making sure half the mobile world thought they wanted and needed one of their over-sized connecting to 3G network problem having products. I suppose it can only spur on the competitors to greater things. Sony is launching the X1 later this year, HTC is launching an Android phone in the coming months and Samsung has just started shipping its new i900 Omnia phone and even the unpacking of it has been turned into an event. Samsung, we want one..as in NOW.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (4)

20-08-08The 2008 Beijing Olympics In Picturesimpact


The story of the 2008 Beijing Olympics told in some amazing photos. Check out PART 1, PART 2, PART 3.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (5)

20-08-08Kite Surfer Gets PWNT By Faywtf

There are two things you never do when a storm is brewing. 1. Never take a piss outside, it might hit you in the face. 2. Never go kite surfing, it might land you in hospital. If you don’t believe me on the first point why don’t you try it out next time a storm like Fay comes a knocking. And if you don’t believe me on the second point why don’t you ask Kevin Kearney who was brave enough to try it out for us. The words ass and dumb come to mind.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

20-08-08Slash or Slasher?impact

We all want to be a rockstar. Loads of money, hot horny chicks every hour of the day, loads of (free) booze and untold fame. This dude is trying to get there, but is he more of a Slash or Slasher?

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

20-08-08When Confronted With A Negro In An Elevator You Should…funny

...not hand on to your purse for dear life, not step to the side and not look scared. It kinda makes the negro want to do this. If only the poor old lady a couple of posts below had known.

 | Willy Wanka | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (7)

20-08-08The Black holewtf

A special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned tense and bizarre this afternoon. County commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts. Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections “has become a black hole” because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office. Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud “Excuse me!” He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a “white hole.” That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy. Mayfield shot back that it was a figure of speech and a science term. A black hole, according to Webster’s, is perhaps “the invisible remains of a collapsed star, with an intense gravitational field from which neither light nor matter can escape.” I say Price is a racist dumbass.

 | Nigel Nuttcrusher | 20-08-08 | link |  | Comments (8)

19-08-08Bastard Scum Attacks Old Ladywtf

I can’t really come up with anything funny to write about a cunt that attacks an old lady in an elevator and makes off with her cane. So I won’t. Just watch, be disgusted and make sure your kids will never ever get any ideas like that in there heads.

 | Willy Wanka | 19-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)

19-08-08Blonde Chick Likes Her Mac and Cheeseimpact

College is about to start up again in the USA. It will be another year of education the bright young things that will one day ruin our earth, drink it dry of beer and fuck all the horny chicks. Don’t you just wish it was you starting up again? Not as a Freshman mind, but somewhere in the Junior ranks. Old enough to party with the best and young enough to fuck those 18-year-old blondes that will do anything for a bit of cash. This blonde earned herself $100 by getting into a bath tub filled with mac and cheese, but she could have earned twice that if she had gotten into bed with Mac and Steve.

 | Willy Wanka | 19-08-08 | link |  | Comments (0)
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