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We all know the yellow armbands Lance Armstrong sells? We all know Kylie has breast cancer? Well some dude named James has found a way to get the UK pounds rolling by selling these dumbass armbands. Nice URL also…
I didn’t do a F1 post two weeks ago as I was on vacation and guess what happens, my boy Kimi wins. I was seriously contemplating not doing a F1 post this weekend, so Kimi might win again. However, this weekend is the F1 race as far as F1 races go. Monaco. The 900bhp machines will race through the narrow streets of this principality like there is no tomorrow. The world’s jetset will be on show on their massive yachts and gallons of the finest champage will be drunk. In the company of some very hot babes. The King of Monaco is still Ayrton Senna. He won this demanding race six times and the only one who can challenge this at the moment is Schumacher. Ferrari, however, seems to be in the shit. Their car is not up to much and Renault, McLaren and even Toyota are giving them the run around. In the first practise session, traditionally on Thursday and not the usual Friday, Alonso was quickest again, but all three McLaren’s were near the top of the timesheets. Predicting a winner for Monaco is always extremly difficult, but I am putting my money on Montoya.
A man lost more than his shirt in last nights Labatt Blue Chip Poker series, swapping in his wife in attempt to win the coveted prize of the night: a $150 fold-up poker table. It wasn’t Franklin Quibbly’s night as he quickly lost out in the first round, forfeiting all 1,000 chips within the first 15 minutes. Franklin can kiss his wife goodbye.
Watch as the big and intense James Thompson who is so intense that he’s actually shaking, goes up against the flabby Aleksander Emelianenko. Notice that the flabby Aleksander Emelianenko is so bored that he’s actually rolling his eyes. For Aleksander it is just a normal day at the office.
My contribution to TC has been waning a little the last few days. New job, you see. I’ll make up for it soon. I am sitting on a mountain of gold at the moment (if anybody knows how to convert nsv to avi mail us) and will make you climb that mountain soon. In the meantime I have some very interesting reading material for you. Reading? Yes, reading. They did teach you that at school didn’t they? Come on, it is fun. And in this case you have a good excuse if you whip it out and start to play with it. My outcome had something to do with the word ‘donkey’.
My friend Willy is still wanking about the 10.000 porn lovers on TC, so i have to come up with some good shit. What do you guys think of a torrent of the latest Starwars Movie Episode III? Well, here it is. Don’t tell Luke you are stealing his money, or just watch this movie and go later to the cinema because the movie is worth it. This is a screenshot of the quality of the Torrent.
We hit 10.000 members today. And that in just over 6 months time. Not bad. Not bad at all. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for making TC the site that it has become. I know it sounds like a cliché, but without you, the visitors, we would be nobody. You make it all worthwhile. Man, my eyes are welling up with tears. Time to put a halt to all this emotional crap and bring you the porn you crave. Another linktipper (yes, keep sending in those weird and cool links guys) sent us a Raven Riley set of her doing anal. You can get it in 4 parts here, here, here and here. I have also been busy and bring you Jamie part 1 and Jamie part 2 and some elevator loving. Look at her wipe her mouth. All rapid, but I don’t give a fuck. Now, you will see some changes on TC in the coming weeks. Hopefully a new logo and some merchandising to go with it, a slightly updated lay-out and some ads. We have kept TC clean of advertising up to now and we will keep it discreet in the future, but due to the massive amount of traffic generated during the last 2-3 months we have had to expand our server capacity and it needs to be paid somehow. We hope you guys understand and will support us to grow even bigger in the future. If you would like to advertise on TC and generate some traffic your way mail us. If not, just enjoy TotallyCrap.com.
Sure you’ve seen it all over the papers and the news, but here is full version of the British Army Boys doing the Armedillo song. Also available on Rapidshare.
Tomorrow is THE day. Well, in fact, in Belgium today is THE day. Star Wars Episode III hit Belgian cinema screens at 00:01am today. A world premiere for Belgium? Yes, you’d better believe it. I am sure thousands of you will go see it all around the world later today or tonight. If you want to be a dick to other Star Wars fans or just want to share your thought about the last ever installment and how it completes the Star Wars saga, go to the comments and leave your scribbles. Don’t do a Homer though.
I have to bring my car to the garage today. Some bastard drove past it, scratched it and drove off. Luckily a good samaritan took down the plate and the cock can expect a hefty insurance bill and a police caution and fine for leaving the scene of an accident. Hahahahaha. My car (the chick didn’t come with the car) isn’t exactly a babe magnet. It doesn’t drive too bad, brakes are a bit iffy, but I understand we can’t all drive Porsches or Aston Martins. But who says we need them anyway to score the hot chicks. Whether it be stick or automatic. (last part is highly NSFW)
When you go to hospital you put your life into the hands of doctors and nurses. Pretty scary stuff really. Almost as scary is when you go to the barber. When in hospital and things go wrong at least you won’t look a dick in the streets for you won’t be in the streets, you’ll be in a box. When something goes wrong at the barbershop you know you will look a fool for at least two weeks and that those two weeks will be weeks with any sex action whatsoever. Just ask these guys and gals that had some bad hair advice. I know a lame post, but even I am allowed a day off.
Maybe you guys live in a city where sheepshagging is a normal way of live, but the TC Crew lives in Stuntcity. This is just a normal day in Stuntcity. If you also want to live in Stuntcity you will need a good deodorant.
Gumball has arrived in, and possibily already left, Budapest. We like to keep you up to date with the rally as it progresses and something we are lazy and make you look back. Today we have some videos for you. This is a video taken at the start. 50.000 Car nuts in London witnessed it. And 15.000 car nuts waited for the Gumballers to arrive for their stop in Belgium. At midnight. Unfortunately fans were not the only ones waiting. So were the police. A Belgian TV channel made a documentary in which they followed the start and the arrival in Belgium. You won’t be able to understand it all, but you get to look at nice cars, Daryll Hannah and Jodie Kidd. What I find very funny, living in Belgium, is that the Homeland Security/Police spent 4 months working out where the Gumballers would cross into Belgium and what they could do to make life as difficult as possible for them. Even the police officers seem to think it is funny that they have to make such a big deal about this. Come on, I am sure there are more important things to do than babysit 120+ fast cars. Like finding the cunt that scratched my car.
No, sorry to dissappoint, this isn’t one of those porn spoofs, but a brilliant remake of the Citroën commercial that has been doing the internet rounds and has hit most of our TV screens by now. Alex Mallison made a spoof commercial starring a Citroen classic, the 2CV. He spent days if not weeks on it, so give the guy some of your praise. I see a future in Hollywood for Alex.
We have had loads of Raven Riley posts in the past, just check here, here and here. A TC fan send us a clip of Raven doing a webchat (could it be this one?) so we can all enjoy her once more. Without further delay hhheeeeeerrrrrreeee’s Raven 1 and Raven 2. What can you expect? Well, pretty much everything apart from her sucking and fucking a cock. Thanks for the submission.
As a kid I used to love watching the Smurfs on TV. That little gang bang village full of blue midgets was amazing. Never a dull moment, always something to be learned. But what happened to them after the fame and fortune? How did it all end? Here’s your answer. My advice, don’t look if you can’t handle the truth and don’t want your illusion about the Smurfs torn to shreds.
What would an update be without the pictures. You can find these here, here and here. I can also recommend this blogsite which gives you some good links about how to follow the cars.
TC could not take part this year, but this does not mean we don’t bring you any updates of this year’s Gumball 3000 rally through Europe. The Gumball kicked off with a big party in London on Friday. The following day the cars were on show to the general public and F1 driver Jenson Button waved them off in the early evening. During the next 6 days 3000 miles will be driven, parties attended and celebrities met. Famous participants this year are Quentin Tarantino, Johnny Knoxille (driving the General Lee car), model Caprice and others. The rally hit Belgium yesterday and it didn’t go unnoticed by the local police. 18 Drivers were kindly asked to hand over their driving licences straight away. From Belgium the Gumball makes stops in Praag, Budapest, Dubrovnik, Palermo, Rome and to finish in style, Monaco. All contestants are invited to watch that weekends F1 action from the deck of a luxury yacht with plenty of champagne on hand. One of the teams has a GPS system fitted to their souped up Range Rover and you can follow their progress on their site.
I have always been a Nintendo fan. Sega didn’t do it for me during those early NES and Super NES days. Playstation didn’t do it for me when it came out, I stuck with the N64. And then I grew up and became interested in women. However, things might have to change again. The last week or so it has become very difficult to ignore all the games console news. The new Xbox 360 was presented. Sony is gearing up for a Playstation 3 and 2006 will see Nintendo RevolutiON day hitting us. I can’t wait, especially after seeing the ‘leaked’ clip for the Nintendo ON. One word, wow. Now, I know that the authenticity is questionable, but it is still a hell of a sweet promo clip.
What a lovely title to come back to you all with on this peaceful Sunday morning. But then again, I can’t help what I am. Today I want to talk to you about one of my pet-hates. Annoying ringtones. Those things drive me crazy. Here in Europe most of us will have heard of that piece of shit frog Jamba. I am sure that the rest of the world has its equivalent (yeah, if you want to, let us know). The most annoying thing about those ringtones is that they make the creators/owners a lot of money. Especially for them TC brings them the I’m A Cunt ringtone. With and without the flash. I suggest setting the volume to LOUD and having a mate call you when you are stuck on the 19:36 to Epsom from Waterloo.
From 11 till 22 May the Cannes Film Festival will be held. Off course every star is there to promote their new movie or just to give the right people a blowjob. Actress Sophie Marceau was also in Cannes and we have some nice footage of her. Smile Sophie, you’re on the internet now!
This guy lost his Guitar in Vegas and is willing to do anything to get a new one. And when we say anything it is anything! Or is it normal to eat a raw Frog?
“I’m just making her earn her allowance that’s all. I’d rather have her gums wrapped around my jackson than her rim jobbing some HIV positive pimply face deadbeat teenager.”
Gary Reynolds is probably the best Father you can wish as a 19 year old girl!
19-year-old girl promoted her campaign to be the local russ president by stripping naked at a student assembly at Atlanten High School in Kristiansund two weeks ago. You can watch here the video of this stripact.
Just another Interactive Flash Movie with a nice chick to spent the day. This time it is for a pokersite to attract some visitors. You can drop the words in the comments!
There still folk out there who say white man can’t rap. For those of you who agree, have a look at this videoclip. This will show you white rappers are the ones who give hip hop the real street poetry without the gangster bullshit. It’s about the words, not the colour.
Real Star Wars Fans will pee in their pants by now, because the premiere of the new Episode III Revenge of the Sith is almost going to happen. Until then we proudly present Grocery Store Wars.
Virtual Bartender 1 and Virtual Bartender 2 are a good concept to let the people play with your brand. The Bavaria Beer Company just copied this succes for their Brazilian Campaign. Can anyone help us to find the right words that does the trick? The only word we know is strip.
A German dude has a severe brain trauma, instead of playing with his Lego he makes his own toys. Take a look at what toys this little sick bastard makes. Maybe they forgot him in WWII?
With every pair of panties this lady send out to men who wish to order them she also send a FREE Pussy Pop. Do you know what a Pussy Pop is?
Yes, they really keep on cumming and then i mean not your mother and sisters, because that is a whole different story. I am talking about the scenes from the home sexvideo of Alana Dante. I can talk shit and make a bad joke, but all you guys want to do is CLICK for a few minutes of Alana fucking and sucking. You can thank us and Alana in the comments. Enjoy!
Bai Ling, who was set to appear as Senator Bana Breemu in the upcoming “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith,” has apparently been cut from the film because she posed for Playboy Magazine. I don’t give a shit about that movie but I would like to thank Bai Ling for this great Photoshoot!
Damn, we are always too late. Just saw this Ebay Ad where you can bid on a dream date with Carmen Electra. Is the winner among us and can we make a TC Gang Bang of this Dream Date?
What is it with the Nanu Nanu Song and guys who own a webcam? After the classic show by Gary Brolsma who became one of the first www super stars. Now wannabe performers want a piece op the pie? Have a look at this little fucker. Not very original, but very amusing. Who’s next…
Today I was chatting on MSN Messenger with one of My Asian online girlfriends. Normally their mom joins our horny conversations, but today her father dropped by. The father of this chick is a big fan of Austin Powers movies. Watch this movie and you will find out why.
Just a little TC reminder for all of you, today is Mother’s Day. So bang your own MILF extra hard, buy some cheap ass Flowers for your own mother and a nice Cactus for your mother in law. Are you afraid to meet your mother in law today we have just some links to relax. Link 1, Link 2 and Link 3. Goodluck and a Happy Mother’s Day.
Update: Just remember the old days!
I know my buddy Willy the Wanker gives you free Porno and Future Porn stars to wank yourself some RSI, but i think there is more in life than sex. For example who is the world most photographed squirrel. Ok my bad, let’s go back to the Pron.
The band Mötley Crüe is best known for it’s drummer Tommy Lee and his ex wife Pamela Anderson. The rest of the band is a group of old wankers who make music about chicks and booze. On this page they have placed a cool game. Just click Groepie Stripper game and enjoy your soon to arrive Repetitive Strain Injury.
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Our Bodypainted Babes
Love Parade 2008
Lily Allen In Cannes
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Neve Campbell Does Topless
