Something funny about the self proclaimed Prince of Darkness holding up a cross in defense.

A lot of people are being laid off right now. Factories are closing, dealership shut down, offices emptied. yet, there are still thousands and thousands of jobs out there waiting for someone to apply to them. Maybe your dream job is amongst those thousands of offers and if it isn’t it soon could be.

Nerds. You’ve just gotta love ‘em. They might not rock our world, but at the same time they do. The screen you’re reading Totally Crap on. Invented by a nerd. The CMS we use. Invented by nerds. Our design. Done by a nerd. The crap you read. Written by a nerd. Intel thought it’s nerds should get a bit of the limelight in their latest Sponsors of Tomorrow commercial. You think he can get any lady he wants by saying he co-invented the USB?

Mister Live Aid once told us he doesn’t like Mondays and unless you’ve got a job as a fluffer and a sucky home life you won’t either. This means we need something to cheer you up first thing in the morning and T-Mobile rides to our rescue with the feel good advert of the year. It gathered 13.500 people on Trafalgar Square, London and had them karaoke to Hey Jude by The Beatles. Now, I’ve sung a long to Paul McCartney singing this live at a concert, but this must have felt pretty special too. Anyone spot the bi-sexual celeb?

  It’s a fucking PSA on domestic abuse; it’s suppose to make you aware, it’s suppose to shocking and it’s suppose to be violent!  This is the kind of brutal commercial that will possibly cause women who have been victims to come forward and report the pieces of shit that abuse them.  By the way if you masturbated to Keira in this particular video…you may have issues, but I’m going to go ahead and give you a pass because it’s her.

Catching a mouse or other pests is no job for a man. Leave it to the professionals.

Tough times call for tough measures. The Totally Crap clown has been moonlighting again and he brought his buddies. Now, either the sad bastard really did participate in an armed robbery and it was caught on film or he was an extra in a kick ass commercial for the new Philips Cinema 21:9 LCD TV. Check out the website too for some back ground info. Sony, you can keep the Bravia we ever got, Philips, we want one. Now!

It’s cool and disgusting at the same time and it will make you think twice before getting to close to someone who is about to sneeze his or her flu onto you. Dirty bastards.

  No lines, no waiting and no rude people trying to rip off your arms and beat you with them.  If you value your life, shop online.

  Americans would probably just put a guy in a banana costume, and call it a day.  The Japanese don’t fuck around, they made this banana snot shooting freak of nature; just to keep things interesting.  I’m waiting for the next installment where he pulls out his banana penis.

Padma Lakshmi is a cook book author, model and co-presenter of US tv show Top Chef. She also used to be married to Salman Rushdie who found himself looking in the bathroom mirror every morning thanking Allah for allowing him to scored such a gorgeous woman. Padma’s latest step into the world of modelling will leave you drooling. Either for her or the product she is selling. Padma, you can come and lick my tartar sauce of your leg any day of the week.

  While all of depicted situations are horribly awkward, you could give a simple 10 second explanation for all but number 4.  You’d be labeled a sexual deviant for the rest of the flight.

  While every sport is laced with homoerotic undertones, Soccer seems to be one of the worst.  Wrestling is probably the only one that out does it, you don’t have to add a soundtrack to make two sweaty men rolling around gay.

  Hopefully the magnet has an off switch, because if you drive by a high school you could end up in jail.

  Dare I say the best commercial ever? Andy Richter is apparently now a gangsta.

Would you buy a gadget which you put to your ear and to your mouth from a company called RIM. I wouldn’t. but millions do in the form of a Blackberry. Last year RIM released the Blackberry Storm and there are no prices for guessing who this never released commercial is taking aim at.

Kids have an innocence to them which they lose the minute they log on, open Google and type in two blondes eating pussy. But until that day comes we need to protect their little imaginative brains from the filth we like to check out in our spare time.

Some people out there, I bet you know a few, treat their pets as human beings. They get to ride in the car, sit on the sofa, eat from the same dinner tabel and even sleep in the same bed as their owner. Before you know ti they’ll be asking for a netbook and a cell phone so they can communicate with their long lost puppy sister 200 miles away. The people in the Samsung viral department are playing to this trend with a commercial aimed at pets and little creatures. Now give me a flipping phone.

  This commercial is suppose to be about planning for your retirement, but I think the milk man just needs some sleep after all that sex.

  New Zealand knows how to party.  If I’m understanding this commercial correctly, it seems everyone’s going to get laid at Wellington Zoo on Valentine’s Day.  It must be some seriously freaky shit because that last monkey looking thing looked like it was about to throw up.  See you guy’s in Wellington!